resources and reaching out

I don't think I mentioned the lovely message I got over Facebook from a friend of mine.  It was several weeks ago, now.  My friend is young, only 21, and one of my opera compatriots.  She has said on several occasions, and repeated in her message, that she doesn't intend to have children.  More power to her for knowing what she wants to do with her life and her body: parenthood isn't necessarily for everyone, and that's just fine.

Despite her plan not to have children, she thanked me for writing this blog and posting links to articles and blog posts on birth to my Facebook page.  In part, she wrote, "Thank you for putting it out there. Even if people are slow to see the truth, it needs to be out there - that way, when people ARE ready for the information, it's there. And thank you for making it accessible, and educating me in the process."

Isn't that lovely? Isn't it reassuring that there are young women who understand the magnitude of these issues, who appreciate that birth and bodily autonomy and chauvinism are a universal concern?  I wrote her a long and grateful response, including,

I can't tell you how much I admire you for informing yourself on issues that may not now, or may never, directly concern you (the really birth-specific issues, like cord-clamping for instance). Every person who informs him or herself becomes a resource, a source of knowledge for every other person. So even if you never have children, some woman or baby may benefit from you having taken the time to learn and then share that information. And that is an encouraging thought.

This young friend of mine enthusiastically replied that she wants to be a resource, to share knowledge and information.  How delightful!  For generations we have separated birth from regular life, making it of concern only to those who are actively having children or working in the birth 'industry'.  It should not be this way.  There are many wonderful, gifted midwives and doulas who have never had and may never have children.  That doesn't prevent them from listening to women or acting based on centuries of knowledge as well as modern research.  Information and education are for everyone.

It's one of the messages of Debby Takikawa's film (nota bene: didja see her comment on my post about her film?  How cool is that?!): birth is a further reaching concern than we currently think.  It affects us all.  How we approach birth and babies and women's bodies and personal choice is very, very indicative of the state of our society.  What does our current approach say about us?  That we are fearful?  That we are disrespectful?  That we are paternalistic and patriarchal?  That we are dismissive?

And what do we want to say?  That we are courageous.  That we are faithful.  That we are respectful.  That we are dignified.  That we are caring.  That we show concern.  That we are open to new possibilities.  That we welcome miracles.