thoughts on the new year

:: 2009

Last year we were still very much finding our feet.  Glynis was 7 months old at the beginning of the year, and we were still in the infant stage of her life, where it felt like our parenting choices were more about forming the foundation to who she is, rather than teaching her lessons or encouraging gentle discipline.  We were flying by the seat of our pants most of the time, though we tried to put forethought into our parenting choices.  My maternity leave - and the associated payments that came with it - ended in May.  This was shortly followed by a housefire that would plunge us into temporary homelessness and force us to move to a new neighbourhood.  Between the end of mat leave payments and the expense of the fire, our finances over the next several months were beyond dicey.  And while all that was happening, Glynis had crept into toddlerhood, changing the parenting landscape entirely.

Survival was a major theme last year.

I started to get some ideas.  Ideas about the direction in which my life was headed.  I started to envision a life where I didn't sit behind a desk, a life where I made a tangible difference in the world, or at least in a few other people's lives.  I had realised the previous fall that my utter fascination with all aspects of the birth experience might not be temporary, and might spell out a vocation of sorts.  But as Glynis grew older and continued to be exclusively nursed, I realised that my plans had to take a backseat to her needs.  As we struggled through several months of troubling finances after the fire, we also realised that some solution had to be found, that our family couldn't wait any longer for me to generate some sort of income and, with joy and trepidation, I took on a job as a regional youth minister with the Presbyterian Church.

Adaptation was a major theme last year.

I realised late in the year that I no longer wanted to keep "making do".  After years of moving from good - but short term - job to short term job, I wanted to have a plan.  A big picture sort of plan, one that had short and long term career, financial, parenting and life goals.  I came to the realisation that planning ahead was not only helpful in keeping me focused, it was comforting.  I stopped looking to get through the next week financially and the next few minutes parentally, and started looking further and further ahead.

2009 was a year of realisations and epiphanies.

:: 2010

I think this year will be very important.  I hope that, in years to come, I will be able to look back on this year and pinpoint the various ways in which I will have grown up this coming year.  We have started thinking about employment and career goals as a couple.  In the coming year, I will finish my doula training and start attending births.  I will also open an Etsy shop for my children's clothes, something people have been telling me to do for over a year.  I will also continue my work with the church, and I will - I promise - make that ministry a success, no matter how hard I have to fight to make it happen.  And while I'm doing all that, my husband will continue in his job while also seeking out opportunities to write and to educate in his field, to grow his expertise and his clout. 

In this year, we will also be better parents, not because we aren't good parents now, but because we are becoming more mindful, and are seeing a greater value in mindful parenting as time goes by.  And we will be more responsible parents, parents who will be thinking further ahead both personally and financially.  Instead of acting within the moment, we will strive to act within a trend, within an intended direction.

I'm very excited about this year, truth be told.  I feel like I'm finding my feet and figuring out this whole "adulthood" thing.  I think that this will be a good year to turn 30.

h/t to bluebirdmama for the post idea.  Check out her post on her reflections and projections for the new year!